Social Conflict: Keeping The Peace Through Talk! Talk!! Talk!!!, Not War! War!! War!!!

by Benson Agoha

Achieving peace has been elusive for generations and as former US President, John F. Kennedy said "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."

MC Scott's 'Rome: The Art of War' showed graphically, how power tussles generated conflicts, created and exposed divided loyalties and led to wars that were very crudely and mercilessly fought.

As has been seen again and again, conflict is conflict no matter where it develops. And when it is a product of social dynamics, it often has the same effect, except it is properly managed.

Personal conflicts is a different issue because it exists and revolves within the individual based on his/her peculiar circumstances. In this sense, the process of resolution begins with self analysis and developing the capacity to brace one's self up and face realities.

Still, people can be cruel, even to themselves, and will not make the necessary reality check, when moderation and compromises could make a difference. But who has the right to judge others, really?

Do people show any willingness to understand us when we have rational reasons to cling to our beliefs, even if that translates to 'self-harming' meanness?

Conflicts in groups is such that, whether we like it or not, we often face some element of circumscription. We are reminded of the need to play by the rules, respect the norm, or be ready to face the consequences.

But facing the music can be brutishly applied. There again, the circumstance before a group, test's a leader's capacity to lead - in times of challenge and in times when the group faces adversity.

Oranisations are group's, made up of different implement-bearing personalities and an egg-head, with his litany of aids, to harness the various competences of these members and point them towards a certain goal.

But whether you are in a village group or an organisational settings, crude implements, selfishness, brutal methods or incursions into another's territory as well as hawkish ambitions often create similar ill-feeling and resentment.

For all its achievements, war never manages to solve problems, at least not on a sustainable basis. The reason is that, though it may suppress in the short term, it often leaves frayed nerves.

Overtime, mankind has learnt, and indeed has sought ways to ensure that conflicts, if they cannot be excluded from society, must at least be controlled - contained within rules that are generally recognised and respected.

But have we managed to achieve peace. No. Have we managed to articulate a solution. No. Are we likely to do that in the near future. Not yet. Because as Mahatma Gandhi "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

The last question has been part of Prem Rewat's message as he traversed continents with his message of peace. Prem has a generous heart and a good message. But the world are just not listening - for the same reason as an individual experiencing internal conflict clings to his beliefs.

But far from his crude ways from generations past, humanity has made many gains. They have learnt to accept that arguments, itself a sign of conflict, do not always have to lead to war. And that efforts can be dispensed in search of peaceful solutions, when disagreements erupt up.

We have learnt that we can always agree to disagree or disagree to agree. If only this is acceptable to all and respected, we should be more positive with peaceful efforts.

But a simple model for peace appears to suggest that a search for mutual co-existence must include the following suggestions:

a) There must be rules that both lovers of conflicts, war mongers and lovers of peace, must be willing and ready to recognise and accept.

b) No matter what you preach, ensure that keeping the peace is your 'watchword'. This posture or mindset encourages avoidance of war and search for peace.

c) If you must fight, ensure you engage in winnable wars. Often times, this is either difficult because people are unable to appropriately analyse their competences or hope for some luck or intervention from higher planes.

d) If the conflict does not look good or the war appears unwinnable, you must know when and how to quit. This gives you the chance to retain an element of grace.

e) If you are already loosing, terribly under-eqquiped, under-tooled or under-manned, recognise when to abort, abdicate and or surrender.

f) Know when to avoid making unacceptable negotiations requests, except you clearly indicate an intension to surrender.

g) If you decide to surrender, expect to be disarmed and make it easier for yourself and members of your group.

h) When you have surrendered, disarmed or not, avoid making further troubles.

Above all, the search for peace must be through 'talk! talk!! talk!!!, not war! war!! war!!!'

* Follow me on Twitter(follow): @bensonagoha and @woolwichonline.

Checking Bullies: Why Our Response Matters More Than Their Words

by Benson Agoha

Bullies are provocative, sometimes intimidating and despicable bunch. And it has the potential to become a scourge because it can be infectious.

Bullies often overlook their own short-comings, in their rabid desperation to intimidate or hurt others. Then, they claim it was all for fun. 'Just having a little fun here - looks like you take things too seriously', you could hear them say as they try to placate their way out of indictment.

Of the myriads ob bullies one can experience, the worse among them are mental health bullies. These group, with as much deficiency as anyone else, manage to mask theirs with a translucent veneer of complex they wear for garment, and try to project the opposite. It actually takes little to unmask them.

A few months ago, I met several new faces from the Greenwich Twitter community at this meet-and-greet session. But among the lot was a perfectly masked bully with decadence that an observant person will recognise as a camouflage.

Camouflages are a trigger for alertness but when worn as a uniform, they become fashionable and appealing. If only we remember never to take camouflages at face value.

So this lady projected an image of a conditioned, cultured and well polished city girl who would regard anyone capable of hurting a fly with disdain.

By the time, I left them to it, I had formed an opinion, to 'watch' her. And remained doing it even though we communicated in the days following that first meeting. By the time she 'came out', I was neither surprised nor disappointed.

No one can say exactly what triggers bullying in people, because while some do it for fun, others do it in reaction to the environmental displacement.

When subjected to pressure or other forms of stressful situation, people have been seen to react differently. While some people are as sweet as honey when they have money - or hope to have it, and become monsters when they don't, others have sleep and wake up relishing bullying.

All these abnormal behaviours from bullies show that a normal person can actually behave abnormally and may consequently require a more urgent attention for mental health professionals. Yet, until they take themselves there or are reported, they will carry on, and be seen as 'normal'.

The Home Treatment Team at the Oxleas House have capable mental health professionals who access patients, treat them where necessary and or make necessary recommendations and referrals.

But on the inside wall is a poster with the inscription "Did you know that, as a proven fact, 1 in 4 persons, have mental ill-health?

Very interesting wouldn't you say? But the statement is designed to encourage you to be honest and face reality. It is also designed to provide a psychological boost against bullying.

If you are aware that he who was bullying you faced even worse condition, and still passes off as 'normal', would you take their bullying so seriously? Or simply give it back to them and move on?

Parents should teach their children to develop a strong mental attitude early, which is a potent weapon against the effect of an act that emanate from very cruel, evil minded, ill-conceived and degrading minds.

Teach them to have a sense of self-worth and self-belief. It is this combination that enables you to strengthen your inhibitions so that you are immune to hurtful words and acts of bullies.

The reality of our world is that everybody cannot be cultured - even if you taught them. So, since there certainly will be deviants, it makes sense to prepare children to expect them, and know how to deal with them.

I have received a fair share of slurs and bullying. And actually firstly, I think, heard the word 'wanker' thrown at me from bullies at a Wood Green based shop. I had to ask colleagues for the meaning, and then trivialised it by telling them the abuse was hauled at my back, and not meant for me.

As a Marketing Canvasser with a Home Improvements outfit in welling, I received remarks. Not from colleagues of course, but from a group of fun-seeking lads, presumably bored with nothing to do, chose to drive around after a good meal, and say something unkind to others. That too, I let fall off my 'none-stick' back.

Nothing prepares you better against bullies than knowing what to say back to them and when. And frankly, sometimes, it is not every remark that merits a response.

While visiting the French Southern Provence of Avignon, my host and guide once told me that surviving presence of 2000 year-old single lane Bridge, called St. Julien, was evidence that Europe was also colonised. But he said, they got over it and recovered to rebuild and become world economic and military powers. Then he asked, why can't Africa get over there's?

Of course he got no immediate answer from me, but his thought-provoking question did stir a wave of internal reviews that helped me develop into a more confident African.

But there is nothing good about bullying. It is an anti-social behaviour that insults and degrades people, and which has led to the untimely death of so many hurt souls, who lacked the capacity to tolerate it.

But think of it, why would you help a bully either by crying or taking your own life? Many of those who committed suicide in recent times have been children who have hardly defined their goals in life.

My son was more confident than I ever was as a child, knocked into a confident lad early on by a German Foundation school called SOS Village.

But you never grow up to your parents and everyday I ask myself whether there were things I should have told him, that I didn't. Teach your child the right things about bullies and help them stay alive longer.

The best and the greatest of minds, say they have been bullied, and that is with the statistics not withstanding.

The discovery of the Higgs Bossom was remarkable, but the theory was developed by a man who was bullied earlier on. Imagine if he had given up.

Professor Peter Higgs told the BBC Radio 4 programme that in the early days of his theory, "he was considered a bit more eccentric and may be cranky".

Ok, you may have to operationalise on the words to decide where to place them, but I don't see anything different other than bullying if you are considered strange, weird or an outcast.

In the end, it is our response to bullying that really matters.

* Follow me Twitter: @bensonagoha

Lenten Contemplation: Lucira Jane Nebelung Talks About 40 Days Of Fasting

by Lucira Jane Nebelung

In Christian traditions, today is Ash Wednesday.

This marks the start of 40 days of penance in preparation for the Holy Week of Jeshua's Passion, Crucifixion and Resurrection at Easter. His life and death gave humanity not a single message, rather it gave mixed messages.

Jeshua stood for and taught the power of unconditional love and forgiveness. He came to show us that we are Christos, the conscious unity of our own hearts with life, that we are Love, the unity in all things.

Jeshua's "story" also imprinted humanity with subconscious beliefs that in living as love, we will experience betrayal, abandonment and crucifixion for defying the status quo of the elite - the money and power of religion, government and merchants. Humanity also carries a subconscious belief that we are inherently unworthy: Our love is inadequate and we lack the ability to overcome our "shortcomings." These beliefs have been reinforced by the patriarchal hierarchy and rules and rituals of humanity's institutions for the last 2,000 years.

The very nature of life is interwoven connection. We are not separate from this unity. We have a natural desire to belong and come together in community. The universal primal fears of betrayal, abandonment, execution, and unworthiness are what separate us from our true nature and one another. They are primal as they are fears we hold in our relationship to life aka "God."

In our mistrust, we have disconnected ourselves from the flow of life, pushing it out of balance. These inequities are unsustainable.

The breakdowns in our institutions and conflicts that we are witnessing are our collective creations based in these primal fears that are being revealed, brought from the shadows into the light of our consciousness.

These events might be considered current versions of the story of Jeshua overturning tables and throwing the money changers out of the temple.

Christian or not, during this time of spring's rebirth we all can choose to be free of our mind's fears and dissonant belief structures, resurrect our hearts and live the truth of our connection that is love. In other words, live as we are, as Christos in the unity of our hearts and create a new physical reality with the power of love, the unity in all things.

Jeshua's most powerful message is that we have a free will: Fear or love. It's our choice what we experience.

We are at the tipping point of a new expression of life. It is our consciousness that creates; there is no one here but us.

Much Love and Many Blessings!



* Lucira Jane Nebelung, Founder & Principal of "Leading as Love" and faculty member at The Graduate Institute, writes from Connecticut, USA.


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Why `Control', Not `Love', Makes The World Go Round - Part One

Opinion:by Benson Agoha

My friend Yaphath Colebrook, once said that it is a great thing to find love, or have it find you.

So then, for many of us seeking love, it is either playing tricks on us or has become our nemesis.

How many times, have we gone in search of peace, but found exactly the opposite? And how many times have we gone in search of love, and found hate, in search of success, but are faced with failure.

So, whoever said that love that makes the world go round, must have existed, not in our world but some other model. Or, as is often the case these days, some argue that 'unconditional love' will succeed where love failed.

I stoutly kicked against it on LinkedIn's `Leadership Think Tank'. That was, until Jane Barrash offered a different perspective. Jane persuaded us deviants that, despite our unfavourable predispositions to the idea, we could in fact, collectively co-create a new reality.

Few minutes after I wrote on this colume about my views of the valentine day celebrations, which I had been told was, afterall no so divergent, hardly had I retreated to a quiet spot upstairs, than a man, staggered over, and dumped himself on the seat, next to me.

If you looked closely, you could tell he was unsettled about something, - on valentines day. And while I was intrinsically excited, in preparation for what might result in a juicy piece, he was soon joined by his spouse who, sensing my aparent discomfort, assertively pulled him close, and planted a smacker on his lips.

Eh, yes it was Valentine's Day afterall. Remember, I was still waiting and hoping. Was love being fair? Was it playing tricks or simply being my nemesis?

The irony was that the dishevelled-looking man, though did in fact readily picked up the smacker, was aparently, not in the mood for love, or Valentine day celebration. And before long, he staggered off without his lady in tow.

Some wise man had said that love makes the world go round. But this is hardly irrefutable. Just as neither peace or war. Else, how would Mario Puzo be considered right when he admonished that whatever we fall too much in love with, betrays us in the end.

Something else must be the pivot on which the world revolves, and I am not even talking of money. Something that, like plasma, tampers with the excesses of love, peace, war or money - or lack of them.

One that is capable of delivering a cooling-off effect and stem the bubbles, in such a way they never shoot too high up, nor fall back too much in, that they leave a dent.

Giving enough room, when left to their vagaries, variables posses a natural tendency to exercise freedom of movement. And, unless they get bogged down by excessive weight, they fly about with the resplendent `eehhs' and `ooohs' of excitment. But even roller coasters have other effects, than excitement.

If all things are not equal, and they hardly are, the centre cannot hold. Which is obviously why economists often anchor their hypothesis on a safer premise of "all things being equal".

If this isn't a warning not to take their statements on face value, I wonder what is?

'Control' is the quintessential factor that makes the world go round. How much of your actions can you control or rather, how much of your life is within your control?

I would love to hear your view on this. Feel free to drop me a line through: onlinewoolwich@yahoo.co.uk.

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My Divergent Views On The Concept Of Beauty

by Benson Agoha

Whoever solves the problem of mankind or (as some may argue), women and quest for beauty, deserves commendation.

I just finished M.C.Scott's `Rome: The Art Of War', where Prabo managed to sustain, over a long period, his love for a beautify spy. Jocasta had grown into a spectacular combination of brain, beauty and confidence, three of the very important attributes of power.

Though Prabo's fantasy and loyalty eventually paid off, at least for the sake of his beautiful heart, it was unexpectedly bumpy. Beauty aside, how much loyalty really can you expect from a powerful and well connected spy?

But Scott's epic novel was set in AD69 Rome. Now fast-forward by 1,945 years and we consider a young man declaring his fancy for a beautiful career woman.

`Why do you love me?', she asked him after a few acquaintance meetings.

'Because I find you lovely and truly beautiful', Lover-boy explained, earning himself a fleeting smile.

Why? Because women are often more comfortable with the subject of beauty than that of love, for the simple reason that, while being lovely reminds them of coupling-up and tangling feeling, that of beauty tells them they are appealing and desirable.

Though his mother warned him not to try too much to understand women, lover-boy had since found that women appear to prefer `uncommitted appeal and desirability' to being in `love'.

But surviving through the ages, is beauty compliment. It is about the only gift that guarantees instant reward from the receiver. Sometimes, it delivers more in return.

For while lack of commitment helps a lady's flirting, which can potentially stir up desires, and offers that can then be evaluated for a decision, love says you are taken - and out of the market.

So women appear to let the circle go on, until they meet that `special' someone. Often times, these are unavailable.

A beautiful and well dressed woman is just `an invitation to treat', law teachers often tell their students.

Still evaluating the young man, the lady said "I have my faults, you know".

To which he replied "I didn't expect you wouldn't."

* Beauty Pyramid.

The tempo changed, and skin reddened before she said "So you mean you expected faults from me and yet you want me, why is that?"

The young man looked around, no one was on hand to help him sort his problem out. He had to figure out a way.

Whoever said beauty was without blemish? The truth is that we all only have imaginations of beauty, or its epitome.

And in so far as that goes without a doubt, there are those who will argue that they recognise beauty when they see it. Do you?

Custodians of beauty claim, they know it when they have it, but a sage admonished that beauty is transient and ephemeral. Perhaps, this is why lovers of beauty seek it. To find it, understand it and know it - in case it disappears.

Some say beauty empowers uniquely. But, as much as it does, it is only internal strength that truly exposes and drives it to the surface.

How then do you recognize, and progressively reinforce latent strength in others, to stimulate their beauty?

Psychologists believe that beauty is a product of happiness. In other words, if you want to be beautiful, try to be happy, even though you still have to pursue happiness.

Happiness, is a state induced by different variables in exchange for its own by products varrying behaviours, depending on the individual and his personality characteristics.

Mystics and astrologers believe that beauty is a product of a different state, which depends on an individual's `self-rising', which increases one's sex appeal and radiance. Each of these standpoints have their relevance.

And if recognizing what triggers inner strength proves difficult, defining `beauty' appears more so. Yet many of us crave for beauty more than a superior inner strength.

Without inner strength, beauty exudes a forlorn and despondent outlook. Without `inner strenght' also, `will' is lost, and without `will', there is no `hope'. Without `hope', radiance varnish. Without radiance, there can be no `confidence'.

Five pre-conditions of beauty - variables that feature as necessary pre-requisites of appreciable beauty include:

Inner Strenght: the energy necessary to consciously articulate and aim for a cause.

Will: the determination to work on that given cause towards a positive result.

Hope: the believe that there is a future result that is derivable from that pursuit.

Radiance: the noticeable result of that conviction that you are doing the right thing towards a desired goal. This leads to peak performance. The point at which `beauty' is observable.

Confidence: The point at which possessors of beauty are seen to exhibit noticeable self-belief. This in turn produces an element of calmness and self-worth exemplified by self-confidence.

* The Beauty Pyramid2

So beauty is a product of inner strength, producing will, hope and radiance and confidence - in that order.

Obviously communicating this to those obsessed with beauty or lack of it can prove herculian, and perhaps explains why the sage, Plato, sought to assuage the feelings of diffidence in others when he said "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!"

Ok then, if you notice it, please tell them or would you rather not?

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* Follow me on twitter: @bensonagoha.

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HOW COMMON CRAYON MARKS KEPT AMERICA UNITED by Martin Udogie

* Martin Udogie.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR), ranks as one of America’s most visionary Presidents ever. He is described as a “man given to big thoughts.”

In 1937 he summoned to the White House, a man by the name, Thomas “The Chief” MacDonald, the head of the Bureau of Public Roads.

The President picked up a crayon and on a large map of the United States in the Oval Office drew six broad lines. Three of them crossed the country from coast to coast. Three more ran up and down the country, border to border.

A while later, he drew two more north-south lines on the map, making a total of eight.

He turned to MacDonald and said these eight roads would “enable vehicles to travel for hundreds of miles at the highest of speeds, should be constructed to link America together properly, once and for all. How much will it cost?”

According to the book, THE MEN WHO UNITED THE STATES, by Simon Winchester, “This hastily drawn crayon-on-a-map plan of 1937 – lost to history, sad to say – was the exact moment of origin for the American Interstate Highway System.

Those who have driven on the American Highways can’t help but marvel and salute the stroke of genius and foresight of their creation. They are unrivalled, worldwide.

The project was supposed to take 13 years to complete, but instead it took 35 years, and would cost a total of $430 billion, becoming the greatest public works programme in world history.

“There would be 41,000 miles of highway – with the longest, the I-90, running without a single traffic light the 3,020 miles between Seattle and Boston. By comparison, Lagos to Maiduguri is about 1,532 kilometers (or about 950 miles only).

Roads would climb as high as two miles above sea level in Colorado and 50 feet below by the Mexican border in Southern California.”

“There would be 55,000 bridges and tunnels, 16,000 exit and entrance ramps, junctions where in time, new kinds of hotels, and venues for refreshment and amusement would grow up, changing in no small way the face of the nation”.

FDR collaborator, Thomas “The Chief’ MacDonald ran the U.S. Bureau of Public Roads with an iron fist from 1919 until his retirement in 1953, and wielded unprecedented influence with the seven U.S. presidents he served.

A staggering 3.5 million miles of road was built under his authority. Again, keep in mind, that Lagos to Maiduguri is about 1,532 kilometers (or about 950 miles only).

Proud, austere and scrupulous Thomas MacDonald was a very stern man. He wore a coat and a tie, even while fishing. And he demanded absolute respect always. He forbade anyone from calling him by his Christian name. He had his wife call him Mr. MacDonald, and his brothers and sisters address him as Sir. To his staff, he was simply Chief.

He once remarked that road building was “a calling of the greatest public responsibility.”

Thomas “The Chief” MacDonald was one of those whose efforts contributed a great deal to keeping America UNITED, through an interconnectivity of a super road network.

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Martin Udogie, Publisher, Trainer and Programme Host for the Radio Nigeria Network, wrote in from Lagos.

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Living the True Self: Leading as Love by Lucira Jane Nebelung

* Lucira Jane Nebelung.

What is life about?

Who am I, really?

What am I here for?

What calls to my heart?

What am I waiting for?

The answers are inside of you.

Each New Year brings renewed hope for a world of peace and prosperity. Peace and prosperity is not something “out there.” We are the creators of our experience and the world is a collective reflection of what is inside of us; we each contribute to what we see and experience.

During the past few months, life has reflected to me what I can contribute through my work. It is not some kind of “grand design.” It is what can be offered to individuals for their personal choice to be fully who and what they are as human beings.

I deeply appreciate all who have engaged with me as my mirrors in person, on Facebook, in private conversations, or in groups. It allowed me to acknowledge, accept and become more intimate with who I am, what I stand for and offer, and my own attachments. I see them more clearly as you invited me forward, were present and engaged, or opted to disengage. Bless you all.

It is not the outer form that changes; appearance changes by the nature of the inner being that fills the form.

~ Adapted from Ram Dass

The word “human” literally means, “God-man”: “Hu” was one of the original names for “God.” By fully living our potential as human beings, we be “God”, the infinite, universal consciousness, the divine intelligence of Love that permeates all things. All we need to “do” to “be” one with this consciousness is to live in integrated wholeness: body, mind, heart, and soul. Soul is our unique aspect of this universal or divine consciousness that creates all life. Our “God-self”, our soul, is made visible, made manifest in the physical through our heart, our mind and our body.

We all have had direct experiences of integrated wholeness that we both see and feel; some call it “flow.” Many of us have no context for these experiences to enable understanding and to facilitate repetition so they slip away. If we pay attention, life informs us in each moment that we are the creator – divine beings having a human experience – we are spirit in matter, we are both human and divine. How we chose to see and experience life is up to each one of us.

Last fall I wrote that life is “simple”: Its purpose is self-love and as a mirror, life reflects back to us the purity or “filtering” of this self-love. So I have brought together my own experiences into an offering called Living the True Self™. Living the True Self creates and sustains an inner “structure” for a life of peace and freedom, a life of sovereignty as the True Self.

The Elements of Living the True Self:

The first element of Living the True Self™ is called the Centerpoint for Being™.

This process is a refinement, adaptation and integration of two brilliant practices originated by others. One is the called the “Highest Goal,” developed by Michael Ray for the “Creativity in Business” MBA course at Stanford University. The other is called “Centerpiecing” created by Mel Toomey and the Center for Leadership Studies / Generative Leadership Group. Using these two practices together we can discover our unique energy and expression of divine intelligence in human form: body, mind, heart, and soul. This is the real meaning of our integrity and authenticity as a human being. The Centerpoint for Being is the footing and foundation of self-love and knowing our divine self in a tangible, personal way. There is nothing “woo-woo” about this.

A Relaxed Mind allows for a Knowing Heart; a Knowing Heart invites Engaged Action; Engaged Action establishes the Embodied Soul. The embodied soul’s expression is self-love. Each of the aspects of the Centerpoint are unique to each individual.

* The Circle of Life Model.

Soul – Mind – Heart – Body: The Circle of Life is complete and our Light, the movement of Love, radiates brilliantly into the world. The access to the soul is through the heart.

* The Centerpoint Diagram

The Centerpoint for Being is Our Unity, Our Oneness with Creation

A Love that is Ours Alone

Unique in both Form and Expression

The Centerpoint enables intimate relationships as a human being with oneself, all others and everything in life; to deeply know who and what we are without the masks of labels and roles.

Where we focus expands. The Centerpoint provides the focal point of our unique signature presence – the energy and power that comes with awareness of the mind, discernment of the heart, and choice for action in each moment. It is our higher purpose, our connection and contribution to life, our path for growth and mastery, and our sovereignty for true freedom of choice.

All leadership is self-leadership. The Centerpoint establishes our unique internal identity rather than collective identity and action based on external labels and roles. It is our personal mantra and “practice” for consciously leading our life – Leading as Love.

The Centerpoint gives us a comprehensive focus for our lives; it applies in all situations, in every moment. One may choose to continue or expand spiritual, religious or healing practices; they take on a deeper meaning and significance.

The Centerpoint awakens and connects us to the universal consciousness within bringing us into harmony with the ever-emergent, unfolding of creation. It is our Light, our unique expression of Love, the ultimate Self-Love that shines brightly. The Centerpoint for Being reveals, integrates and grounds each person’s uniqueness of body, mind, heart, and soul, the True Self. It is like a lock protecting something of great value that with the “right” combination, springs wide open. One person remarked, “For the first time ever, I feel my power (aka love).”

The second element of Living the True Self is the use of the Enneagram as a path to self-love.

The Enneagram can show us where and how we judge and separate ourselves from our Centerpoint for Being (as aspects of the inner triangle of the Enneagram symbol) and how we can become more perfectly attuned to its expression.

* The Enneagram Diagram.

This application of the Enneagram is based on many sources and much is available elsewhere, so I won’t elaborate here. I highly recommend the work of Russ Hudson and the Enneagram Institute.

The third element of Living the True Self is using Life as the Mirror of Creation.

Our life experience is a direct reflection and projection of the relationship within ourselves – the True Self – body, mind, heart, and soul. Looking into the mirror that is our life, through our reflection in others we can see what is inside of us, our thoughts, beliefs and emotions, etc. that amplify or block our Light. If we are defensive, justifying our actions or blaming others, we are cut off from our heart and soul and seeing life and acting solely from the mind. When we react in this way, without awareness and discernment, it is our buttons that are being pushed and has nothing to do with the other person. If it wasn’t inside of us, our own (un)consciousness, we couldn’t see it and it wouldn’t bother us.

What we believe is what we see. What we attribute to another is what we believe about ourselves. What we see in others is ourselves. Frequently, these are aspects of our life experiences that we suppress or disown, yet we are attached to these unconscious “wounds.” As examples, our anger towards what we see in others is anger towards ourselves for the “same” thing, anger is the “explosion” of shame/resentment for the past and anxiety for the future; how we judge or appreciate and what we say to or about others (the good, the bad, the ugly) is really judgment, appreciation of or saying the “same” thing to or about ourselves; we can be intimate (meaning without masks of roles and labels) in relationships with others to the degree we are in intimate relationship with our True Self. If held tightly, emotional attachments can eventually end up as physical discomfort, pain and illness. This is not “blaming the victim”; this is acknowledging that albeit unconscious, we co-create our entire life experience.

It takes courage and great humility to be in life this way, to recognize and release that which is inside ourselves. This is how we take full responsibility for our lives; we create it all, every experience, through how we perceive life and react or respond.

Living the True Self from the Centerpoint of Being gives a passionate life.

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Lucira Jane Nebelung is a Faculty member of the Center for Leadership Studies, The Graduate Institute, and Founder & Principal of "Leading as Love". She writes from Norwich, Connecticut Area, USA.

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